I may have...

I may have stayed up entirely too late for a week night. I may have gone to 9:30 movie (chick flick) with a good friend (who also happens to be a co-worker). I may have a hard time waking up in the morning. I may just sleep in a little bit and throw my hair in a ponytail tomorrow. I may think being tired tomorrow will be totally worth it because I may have had a really good time.

Empathy

I've been thinking a lot today about empathy - internalizing the situations and feelings that other people are experiencing. There are certain things that I am extremely empathetic about. There are other things that I have become more empathetic about just recently. I have to admit that there was a time when I would look at people riding stationary bikes and think, "Why don't you just get off your behind and run?" Today as I sat on my behind and rode the stationary bike and wished I were running, a light bulb went off in my head. Duh, Jetta, not everyone can run! Some people have torn ACLs and they're just patiently waiting to have surgery and trying not to lose all their endurance and strength in the meantime. It made me really consider the way I think about other people. It is so easy to look at someone, get to know them a little bit and decide that you have them figured out. But, in reality, everyone is fighting their own battles. It is not our place to make a judgment. I think that if we all had a little more empathy, we'd be one step closer to loving everyone the way Heavenly Father loves each of us.

I really am trying to patient as I wait to have surgery. I feel like it's been forever. It has been forever! I looked at a calendar today and realized it's a lot closer than I thought! I am so excited! I'm excited to make progress, to fix the problem, and start the real healing process. This waiting business is ridiculous! I'm excited to be able to do simple things like squat to pick up something off the floor, or sit indian style, or sleep through the night! I'm excited to do the not-so-simple things like run and play racquetball! I watched today as they ran a marathon on "The Biggest Loser" and I was inspired - I want that finish line! It's going to be a long, tough road, but I will get it...and it will rock!

Laughter

I've decided...laughter really is the best medicine. Really? What could possibly make you feel better than laughing - really laughing, out loud, until your eyes water and your stomach hurts and you're seconds away from peeing your pants? I'm not sure there is anything that can top that! I laughed tonight...a lot! I got to observe as our ward played human foosball. I didn't think it would be much fun just watching, but holy smokes! It was almost as fun as watching the little 4-year-olds at work! Super funny! After FHE my roommates and I watched Chuck - my favorite!! After Chuck we all chatted, sang crazy songs at the top of our lungs, and had an entertaining texting conversation with our home teacher - and we laughed through it all. It was awesome! Now if I could bottle up that laughter and save it for a rainy day (like tomorrow) that would be even more awesome!

Considering a return.

I've been considering making a return to my blogging world for a few weeks now. I have reflected on the reasons I started a blog in the first place and what it was that made me stop. I started a bog because I wanted a place to record the tender mercies that my Heavenly Father blesses me with everyday. As I took the time to reflect on my day, the blessings became more and more apparent. Things that didn't initially stick out as "blessings" were recognized as such when I thought about the day to write it down. It started as kind of a journal - a journal that other people could read and hopefully learn something from. I stopped blogging (or keeping a journal of any kind) a few months ago because I was not in a good place in life. It seemed that every time I got on the computer to recognize my blessings, all I could think of were that bad things. The hard things. My mind was stuck on those things. I hated to keep recording that things were bad or hard. It was too much for me...so I quit. I don't regret the time I didn't write. I think it was probably better to work through everything I needed to work through without sharing with other people, and without recording the misery. That being said, I think it's time for me to resume my record of the blessing in my life - my journey here - my life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. I will do my best to remember the purpose of writing my experiences here and I will do my best to keep it positive! I need a little more positive in my life!

I am injured. I tore my ACL playing soccer last month. I get to have surgery in 11 days to fix it. It scares the crap out of me! The last month or so has been tough and I've learned a lot. I think it's been a good eye opener for me. I think I've taken my body and the abilities I have for granted. I used to dread the alarm clock in the morning signaling the time to get outside and run. All I wanted was a few more minutes of sleep...I didn't want to go run! Now I would give anything to go out in the sunshine and run! I am very goal-driven. I set a few goals for this year - all of them included running: a half-marathon PR, running the Wasatch Back Relay again, and getting into the St. George marathon and finally running that race without being totally miserable! Goals are what keep me going. And unfortunately, those goals are not realistic for me anymore...at least not this year! I haven't been able to nail down any replacement goals just yet...but I will. I have to!

This experience has taught me that I don't know myself better than Heavenly Father knows me. If you were to ask me a month ago if I thought I could handle something like this I would have definitely said no! I would have told you that I've had my share of hard things and I deserve a break! I deserve for things to go well for a change. But, Heavenly Father knows better - as usual. I really can handle more than I think I can. I'm stronger than I think I am. I'm grateful to have a Father in Heaven who knows that and is willing to see me through tough times to teach something important.