Days like today

I stayed up way too late last night. I was talking to a friend on the phone and I was looking at houses online. I got caught up looking and didn't go to bed until well after midnight. When I did get to sleep, I had a dream that I bought a house. Crazy!

I love, love, love days like today. I slept in (well, technically I woke up at 7:30 because that's what's my body is trained to do, but I laid in bed for a long time...we'll count it as sleeping in). Wendee and I went running. We were supposed to do 7 miles, but it didn't quite work out like that. We have been doing 5 milers so I figured I would be find to 7. But, we ran all the way up 2nd north, which is like a mile and a half uphill. It was a lot harder than I remember it being. I'm sure it will get easier, but today it was hard. We planned to do a 5 mile loop and then a 2 mile loop, but I was done after 5. I bailed on the last 2. But, I'm not sad about it. I still got a really good work-out and I have plenty of time to build up the mileage.

When we got home, I ate some breakfast. While I was making breakfast Wendee got in the tub. The dishwasher had been going for a while when she got in. I knew that if I tried to shower I would get a cold shower...so I decided to put it off for a bit. I had been wanting to try something new with my hair. My co-worker Jill and Krista both curl their hair and it's just so pretty. I bought a curling iron specifically so I could try to make my hair do what their hair does. But, I never really have time to just dink around with my hair and spend the time to figure out how to do it. But since I had some time to kill, I tried it. It took me a while to get the hang of it, but eventually I got it. My hair turned out pretty cute. I would never do it every day, but it will be a good option when I'm feeling the need to change things up.

I went over to my parent house today to get my taxes done. My dad and I started, but we didn't get to finish because he had to focus on his ebay stuff. He likes to buy stuff on ebay - he sets an alarm when his things are going to end and everything! I love it. But, we got far enough that my dad said he could probably finish it up without me. I'm so lucky to have a dad that knows all about taxes...and practically everything else! I'm so lucky to have him!

The rest of the day was spent relaxing, watching tv shows about buying houses, looking for houses online, and hanging out with Krista. It was a good day and I'm excited to go to sleep!

12 hour work-day

I worked entirely too long today. I went in at the normal time this morning, but instead of going home at 6:00 like I usually do, I went to 4 hours of Jr. Jazz basketball games instead. Oh how I love 12 hour days. And, I get to do it all again tomorrow! I can hardly wait. But, the fabulous news is that after tomorrow it will finally be over!! I am so excited! I can't wait to be done with basketball and move on to soccer and baseball!

Because I spent all day and night at work, I really don't have much else to write about. Yea for going to bed!!

Office politics

All I have to say about work today is - I hate office politics!! I know that we were all created differently so that we could benefit from each other, but sometimes I just wish everyone could think the way I do! I feel like one of the gifts Heavenly Father has blessed me with is perspective. I usually have a pretty grasp on the big picture and I don't like to make a big deal about the little things. It makes my life so much more enjoyable!! I am finding that working with the same people every day is not as easy as it might sound. If we could get rid of a bit of the drama and be more logical, I would be a lot happier. But, I kind of doubt that will happen any time soon so I suppose I will try my best to be civil.

We had enrichment tonight. It was kind of fun - my first enrichment as the enrichment counselor. I got to conduct and help set up and clean up. I think I will be a little more comfortable next time when I've been a part of the planning process. First item of business - enrichment will never again be 3 hours long!! I loved enrichment tonight and I learned a lot. But, I'm pretty sad that it's 11:30 and I'm not asleep yet. 6:15 comes to early to be up this late!

Adventures

I had an adventure today. My co-worker Melissa's dad is chiropractor. She has told me so many times that I should go to him - it's her answer for everything! I have never been a "believer" in chiropractors. I went to one once and it was not a very good experience. He told me that he had cured my intolerance to gluten....right. But, she told me a while ago that she had told her dad about me and my ear and he said I should come in. There's a chance it could be something structural, in the which case a chiropractor might be able to help. So I called today to get an appointment. It worked out perfectly - Melissa was planning on going to see her dad this afternoon anyway, so we ended up going together. He did his assessment and said "that doesn't make sense" multiple times. Apparently my hips are super out of wack. And, my jaw is messed up (which I alread knew). I really appreciated the things that Melissa's dad said and did. He talked a lot about the body's ability to heal itself. I really think that my body will work itself out and I will be able to hear again. And in the meantime, I'm going to do what I can to help it, even it that means going to Orem to see a chiropractor.

I got to run outside this morning!! Wendee and I ran 5 miles. It was great! I love running outside. I love being outside. I love the way I feel during the day when I run in the morning. I love feeling like I'm doing something productive. I love it! I'm so, so, SO glad that it's light enough early enough to run outside in the morning. And I'm glad it stays lighter longer. It means spring is coming!!

So SICK of Jr. Jazz!!

I am ridiculously excited for this week to be over. Friday night is the final night of the tournament for my high school boys Jr. Jazz. I am so SICK of those leagues and all the drama that comes with them. No matter what I do, there is no way to please everyone. Every day I get at least 2 phone calls about how the league isn't fair. I sometimes want to just yell into my phone, "Guess what!! Life's not fair!!" But, I refrain. I do my best to be polite and respectful and explain why things are the way they are. I wish it was just that simple. It's not. People are just so set in their ways that I could explain things until I'm blue in the face and they just wouldn't get it. But, I'm doing my best not to let it get to me. This is only my first season and next year I will have a much better idea of what to expect. And Friday will be here before I know it!!

New Adventures

I got a phone call yesterday..."Jetta, the bishop would like to meet with you for a few minutes tomorrow..." Awesome. That can only mean one thing - that's right - a new calling. I went to visit with the bishop this morning. He said, "We have some very exciting news. Today we are going to reorganize the Relief Society Presidency." I got nervous. He told me that he would like to call me as the Relief Society Home Family and Personal Enrichment Counselor. I accepted. I was sustained and set apart and now I am the Home Family and Personal Enrichment Counselor. I'm actually really, really excited. The president is an amazing girl and I'm excited to work with her and the other girls that were called to serve with her. I am anxious to have an opportunity to make an impact and I know I have a lot to learn from the experience and from the other girls. It will be a great adventure!



I went to talk to my dad for a bit today. The first thing he said was, "You need to find a house." That was kind of funny because that was what I went to talk to him about. The market is perfect for someone in my situation. He told me that he would be willing to help me if necessary because it really is just a great opportunity right now. It makes me all sorts of excited and scared. Buying a house is a huge commitment, but it's also really exciting. I'm sure I have many more chats with my dad in the future - I need all the counsel I can get!

Checking off the to-do list

I got six of the seven things on my list of things to do accomplished! Wendee and I woke up this morning to go running. It was great! We set out to do 3 miles and ended up doing 5 instead. It was a little slow and we had to stop a few more times than usual, but overall it was a good run. It was awesome to be outside!

After the run I got all ready for the day and knocked off the next thing on the list - clean my room. I tend to accumulate piles in my room - piles of clothes, piles of papers, piles of cords. Today I got rid of all the piles and put everything in it's place. I also dusted and vacuumed. Now my room is all sparkly clean!

We had a little adventure at our house today. A long time ago we were part of a study doing research on celiac. They drew all my siblings blood and tested it for a bunch of stuff. That's when I found out I had the genetic marker. They came back to test everyone's blood again. Apparently they got some more funding and now they're re-testing everyone they tested before to see if the results are something that can change over time. It was fun to have everyone over, but not so much fun to do actual testing. They decided to test Alex and Holly too because they have excema, which is supposed related. The poor little girls freaked right out! I'm so glad I think rationally enough to stay calm enough to have my blood drawn. I know I used to freak out really bad, but I grew out of it! I'm pretty curious to see what they have to say after testing my blood.

Earlier in the day Wendee asked me if I would make dinner - Jetta chicken (also known as sweet and sour chicken). It was a fabulous idea! I was super happy to make it and I was even more happy to be able to eat for dinner! It's probably one of my favorites.

We got to go to a show at Weber State tonight. It was a one-man-show. The guy was a comedian...or something. He was hilarious and did everything from card tricks to acrobats. It was a lot of fun.

I love days like today - full, productive, and super fun! It makes me a little sad when they're over. But only a little - I know there will always be more days like today...hopefully soon!

Better than expected

Today turned out to be a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Turn out my co-worker wasn't quite as upset as I thought she was going to be. And, the mess that I thought I was going to find was not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was still a busy, kind of stressful day...but better than I expected. Tender mercies.

My neck hurts so bad!! I'm pretty sure I gave myself whiplash when I crashed skiing yesterday. I was to cry even thinking about putting my head back. Owww!! Oh well, it was worth it!

I'm excited that tomorrow is Saturday. I have a lot of things I want to get done tomorrow. They include:

1. Run...outside!! Hooray! Hopefully I'll be able to run all right
2. Shower and get ready
3. Clean my room - including dusting and vacuuming
4. Do my taxes - with maybe a little help from the papa
5. Wash and clean my car
6. Visit Against the Grain
7. See a show at Weber State with the family

I don't usually have the best luck getting my Saturday lists done. I get side-tracked and distracted. And I usually lose motivation before I get everything done. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Skiing!!

Most of this day was simply spectacular. I got to go skiing with Jared and Wendee and the kids. We woke up bright and early and were up at Alta by 8:30. It was a beautiful day - blue skis, fresh snow, it was awesome. I didn't even wear my coat because it was so nice out! I am not the best skier. I have been a few times in my life - enough to know what I'm doing, or at least pretend like I know what I'm doing. We used to go every year while I was growing up...but it's been a few years. Today I was reminded just how much I love it. I loved being outside. I love the fresh mountain air. I even loved the snow! I don't usually love snow - it's usually the opposite. It was fun! It got me seriously thinking about investing in skis and/or a season pass next year. We'll see.

The joy of the fabulous day of skiing was somewhat tarnished when I called work. I had asked one of my co-workers to put some things together for some games I had playing tonight. Apparently it turned out to be a big fiasco. I wish they would have called me before they got all worked up about it. I wish I would have given them just a bit more information so they could handle the situation that came to be. I'm frustrated with the way things turned out. And I'm not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Some of the people I work with are the "make a big deal of everything" type. They seem to love the drama. I am so not that personality. I'd just as soon get over and move on down the road! I know that we're going to have to discuss everything that happened yesterday. I'm sure I will be reminded more than once that my absence caused some stress. I just hope that if there are bad feelings they don't last too long. Hopefully there won't be bad feelings in the first place.

I've been feeling the need for an outdoor adventure for a long time now. I used to go backpacking when I was in high school and I totally loved it. I've been trying to figure out how I can get out backpacking...who do I know that I could go with? Where would I want to go? It's been easy for me to put it off - put it on the back burner. But, skiing today fueled that fire. I loved being outside - in the mountains. I want to go! I am setting a goal here and now - I will go backpacking this year. I will. Oooh, that's kind of exciting!

Thank you.

I realized today that I have a thankless job. I have a folder in my desk labeled "Thank yous." For some reason I love to keep the notes and emails that people have written to say thank you. Maybe that's ridiculous. But, I just don't think that we hear it enough. So when I do hear it, I want to remember! Work has been crazy busy! I like it that way...but it's also really stressful. I am busy trying to run a tournament for a ton of high school boys and it just isn't working out as well as I would have hoped. At the same time I am also trying to put together the spring soccer season. What a job! This kid wants to play with this kid, this kid wants this coach, this coach doesn't want this kid, this kid needs to play down because he's small for his age, this kid's parents were out of town so he missed the deadline....blah, blah, blah. And yet, I still love my job. It's not about getting the thanks (even though that's nice occasionally), it's about giving these kids every opportunity to play! I just wish that everyone would be a little less selfish about it all.

I had a site supervisor back out on me at the last minute tonight, which meant I got to fill in for her. It actually worked out a lot better than I thought. I liked being there to see the kids play their basketball games. We had one little incident with one of the players - apparently he had the wrong jersey. Our policy is if you don't have your jersey, you don't play, period. The coach of this player was obviously upset and did not agree. There were other factors that came into play, but in the end the player got to play. I was super impressed with the coach of the team. He made it very clear that he was not happy with the situation, but he was never disrespectful, he never yelled, he never swore. I know there are a lot of other coaches that, if presented with the same situation, would have flipped a lid! This man did not. And it worked in his favor. Because I had the realization today that I have a thankless job I made it a point to take this coach aside after the game and thank him. He set a great example for his players and I really appreciated his level-headedness. It was refreshing.

I think the words "thank you" go a long way. They're easy to say, but they're also very easy to overlook. I am going to try to be a little better about saying thank you!

And the doctors said....

They still have no idea what's wrong with me!! Kind of frustrating. I had an appointment this morning. They tested my hearing again. It was a tad better than it was last time. It's still not considered "responsive." The physician's assistant I saw before was encouraged. She said at least there was improvement and we can at least hope that it's a trend that will continue. The doctor I saw after the physician's assistant wasn't as encouraging. He said the change was all relative. But, I'm still going to stay optimistic. My hearing will come back. And I'll try my best to be patient in the meantime.

The doctor's office gave me the pictures of my MRI today. I really wish I knew how to read them all. It's actually really facinating. I have pictures of my brain! That's just kind of cool.

I'm ready for the winter to be over. It snowed a bunch today. I know it's good - I'll be grateful when we have a bit more water in the summer time. But right now I'm just tired of the cold and the wet and icy and the dark. I miss my sun!! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Shopping!

I didn't have to work today. It was a great day! Riana was in town so I spent most of the day with her. We went to the running store and got her new running shoes. We were down south so we went to the one in Sandy. It proved a fruitful adventure. I talked to the owner...manager...I don't know what he is, but he's always helped us out with the 4th of July race we do at work. When Ri and I were getting ready to leave he said that he would love to help us out again. Good news for us!

After the running store and lunch Ri and I ventured up to Park City to hit the outlet malls. We went up there once before and it was not very productive. I didn't buy anything and I think she only bought one or two things. She told me before we went that we needed to be a little more determined this trip. It worked. I bought lots of stuff - 2 pairs of jeans, a pair of shorts, a shirt, snow pants, gloves, and a running jacket. I'm very pleased with my purchases. It's so much more fun to actually come with something after a shopping trip!

Krista, Anne and I went looking at apartments tonight. We didn't find anything we are in love with. It was fun to go look though.

I go back to the doctor in the morning. It's hard for me to know how I should feel about it. I'm anxious - I want to hear what they have to say. But, I'm less than encouraged. The steriod thing they've got me doing is not working...or at least hasn't worked yet. I'm afraid they're just going to tell me that there's nothing we can do and I'll have to just live with it. I'm not prepared to accept that. Oh I hope they don't say that!!

The real question

I have cabin fever. It's not nearly as bad as cabin fever Rexburg style, but it's still bad. I feel the need for adventure...for change. I have a couple of friends that want to move. We all work in Salt Lake (or close) and commute. We decided that we would just look around and see what's out there and if we happened to find something amazing, we would move. So today while I was craving adventure and change, I looked at KSL to see what was out there. I found a couple places I might actually be interested in...and now the internal struggle begins. I love to live here with Jared and Wendee. I love the safety and security. I love being close to the family. I love to be part of the kids lives. I love having Wendee as a running partner. I love that there is never a dull moment. I love it. I would not be the person I am today if I had not had the opportunity to live here. But, I feel like I'm too comfortable. I am content to just stay home. I know it will be easier for me to be more social if I move. I would love to live closer to work - not put so many miles on my car everyday, and not spend so long driving. I would love to even live close enough to ride my bike. So the real question is, could I really do it? Could I really, actually commit to moving out? I don't know if I can! I suppose that's something I'll have to ask my Heavenly Father about. If anyone would know, He would.

Valentine's Day lessons

It just doesn't seem quite right that in my 23 years of life I have never had a Valentine to share Valentine's Day with. I get all sorts of excited to think of all the super cute things that could be done the holiday...especially considering my last name. Some day I really will be someone's Valentine....literally.

It is easy to get caught up in the holiday. It's easy to feel resentful. It's easy to rebel. Some refer to it as "Single Awareness Day." I'm guilty. I have done that in the past. I have been a little bitter on Valentine's Day. But, not this year. This year it has been a great day! I think the biggest change was - I had plans! Krista and I talked a few days ago and we made plans. They weren't anything super great, but we had a good time. Here's how my day went:

I tried to sleep in. Wendee and I decided that if it wasn't snowing at 9:00 we would try to run outside. I haven't tried to run since the whole thing with my ear happened. I miss it. But, I don't feel steady enough to run on the treadmill...I think that would be a disaster waiting to happen. But, I think I would be okay outside. I planned to sleep in until 9:00. It didn't work. My body woke up at 7:30 ready to go! Annoying! Unfortunately it was actually really snowy this morning so we didn't get to go. Maybe we can go on Monday.

I got ready for the day. I even put on a red shirt. I wore the shirt that Wendee gave me for the 4th of July last year. It says, "Life, liberty and the pursuit of boys." It seemed appropriate for the day.

I really wanted sugar cookies - also appropriate for the day. So I searched online and found a recipe that used gluten-free ingredients I already had here. My cute nephew Jakey helped me make them. He is fascinated with the mixer. He loves to turn it off and on. They turned out pretty good. I usually like my cookies to be super soft, but these cookies turned out crunchy. They still tasted good though. I sent some home with one of Holly's friends whose mom is gluten free. I also took some over to my mommy. She had a treat for me too! She made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. They're pretty tasty!

Krista and I went to Outback for a late lunch. It was good - as usual. We went shopping for a little while to kill some time until the movie we wanted we wanted to see started. We went to see "He's Just Not That Into You." We planned to see a matinee to save a little money. Turns out they changed their prices to that the matinee price stops at 4:00 instead of 5:00. Super lame. I don't love to pay $8.25 to see a movie!! But I do it anyway. The move was pretty good. I loved the concept! It's all about how we lead ourselves on to believe what we want to about our relationships with other people rather than actually seeing what is true. It's not a movie I would buy. I'm always a little disappointed when there are there one or two scenes that would prevent me from watching it again. But, because of those one or two scenes, I probably won't recommend it to anyone else.

After the movie I came home (with Krista) to watch the kiddos so Jared and Wendee could go out. We ordered pizza and watched a few episodes of Chuck until we were both too tired to stay up. After Krista left Jared and Wendee came home with a yummy sushi roll! I really wanted Krista to try it, but she just left too soon! I ate it all...and now I kind of want to throw up! I am so full!

I've decided that Valentine's Day is just like anything else in this life. You get to make of it what you want. You can be bitter and sad all day that you don't have a "Valentine" or you can enjoy the day anyway! I definitely enjoyed my day...even without a Valentine!

Friday the 13th

I remember Friday the 13th being a big deal when I was a kid. I remember my friends and I used to have a tradition on Friday the 13th. We would stay at home (perhaps to avoid any misfortune), eat pizza, and play cards. I haven't thought about that for a really long time, but today it just popped into my mind. Being a kid was great.

I had a really fun night. I am not very big into ward activities. Most of the time I don't like to go because I don't have anyone to go with. I know there will be people there that I know, but I just don't like to actually go by myself. We had a ward activity tonight. My "church friend" Anne invited me to go with her. I feel like I've been avoiding Anne (even though that is so far from being the case) so I told her I would go. The activity was dinner (potato bar=safe for Jetta) and karaoke (not so safe for Jetta). It was fun to see everyone attempt to sing. But, I had no desire to go up and after a while Anne and I decided we were done. We left. We were going to go to a movie at Kaysville's finest theater, but it was sold out. We ended up going to Trevor's house instead. Trevor is in our ward and he's actually my home teacher. We talked for a while and played Uno before we all got to tired to stay. I know it's pathetic, but it was probably one of the more exciting Friday nights I've had in a long time. It was fun to get out and play. I'll have to remember that and do it more often!

Aware

If it wasn't official before, it's official now. The Lord is definitely aware of me and He has blessed me to know it. I had a hard night last night. It's probably a good thing Jared broke the internet. My blog post would have been nothing but self pity. Instead of writing it down, I just wallowed in it. I cried. I prayed. I fell asleep. This morning I woke up, remembered my night and started my new day. Things are always so much better in the morning!

As I read my scriptures this morning, there was one verse that really stuck out to me. I love it when that happens! The verse that did it this morning was Moses 4:30. It says, "For as I, the Lord God, liveth, even so my words cannot return void, for as they go forth out of my mouth they must be fulfilled." This is a huge reassurance for me. I was told in a blessing that my ear would heal and I would receive my hearing back. After reading this verse, I couldn't possibly doubt it. Heavenly Father said it would happen - and His words MUST be fulfilled!

As if that wasn't reassurance enough...tonight I went out on a quest. My last name is Valentine and I thought it would be fun to get everyone in my office something cute for Valentine's Day - it just seemed appropriate. But, time ran out and I found myself tonight with nothing to give. I went to the store, but it just didn't work out. I didn't end up finding anything. I got in my car to drive to home. I had been listening to a playlist I had made on my ipod. It was all the songs I like from a particular artist. I was driving home a little bit discouraged when a song came on. I'm not sure how it got on my playlist - it's not from the same artist as all the other songs. The song has a line that says, "Hang on, help is on the way. Stay strong, I'm doing everything. I like to imagine that that is what my Heavenly Father would say if I could have a conversation with Him right now. His help is on the way, He's doing everything, and all I need to do is hang on and stay strong. I can do that, right?

I know that there are lessons to be learned from enduring this lack of hearing (and balance). I suppose I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn new things. It's hard, and it's not fun, but I know that everything will work out just the way it's supposed to. And I know that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my struggle and He has blessed me to know it today.

Refocus

I have decided I need a little bit of refocusing. I write this blog for two reasons - 1. I want a place to record the many ways the Lord blesses my life every day. I started this task in a notebook, but it didn't last long. I can type faster and it's neater so it just works out better. 2. I wanted this account of how the Lord blesses my life to be available for other people to learn something from. The Lord gives us experiences so that we can learn from them and hopefully so that others can learn from them. I don't write this blog for other people. I write it for me. I don't mind if people read it. I hope that if people do read it, they learn something from it.

My patience is being tried. I have to admit I am getting a little discouraged. I am done being deaf in one ear. It's not working out well for me. I hate that I can't hear all the things I want to hear. I hate that it hurts my head to listen to music in the car. I hate that I can't be around constant noise without paying for it. I hate that I have a headache by 4:00 every day because my brain is on overload. I hate that this has to happen now - during the busiest and loudest time at work. I hate that I'm not steady enough on my feet to run on the treadmill. I hate that I have to take prescription medication. I hate that that prescription medication has not made a noticeable difference in my hearing, but has contributed to a 5 pound weight-gain. And yet, my hope is so far from gone. I was told that I will receive my hearing back and I am counting on that. It's one of those lessons in life that Heavenly Father keeps beating into my head. He will ALWAYS keep His promises - I just have to wait for His perfect timing. I have already learned so much from this experience - the biggest being that there is so much noise in this world. It would do us all some good to turn everything off and listen...even if it's just to listen to silence. I will keep praying that I will hear normally SOON...and in the meantime I will continue to pray for the patience to endure.

I got to see the rewards of my efforts at work today. I put a new policy into effect a few months ago to help with the sportsmanship problems we have with the high school basketball kids. I told them that if they didn't have good sportsmanship throughout the season, they would not be invited to play in the post-season tournament. I sent out the tournament schedule today and those teams that had bad sportsmanship were not included. I got a phone call from a coach of a team I had had some real trouble with. He wanted to know why he wasn't in the tournament. It was rewarding for me to be able to tell him that it was a result of his team's (and his own) behavior. It was rewarding that the team has no one to blame but themselves. I am grateful for the system that has allowed me to reward those kids who are doing a good job. It reminds me a bit of our Heavenly Father's plan. We've been given the expectations and we have the choice to follow them or not. But in the end, we can't be upset with the consequences if we choose not to follow.

Patient in the meantime

I haven't been as faithful as I usually am the past few days. The trip to California kind of threw me off my regular writing groove. We'll see if I can't get it back pretty quick here.

California was great. I got to spend a lot of time with Natalie. I love that girl. She just got home from a mission so she's kind of weird...but I'm sure she'll come back around to being "normal" pretty soon! She and I went shopping and unpacked some of her stuff. I introduced her to some music and movies she missed out on during the last year and a half. Other than that, we didn't really do much, but I'm not sad about it. It was nice to just relax together.

Coming back wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I thought I was going to be in a big trouble because Natalie and I stayed up way to late and slept in every day. That doesn't work out so well when you have to work full time! But, I got to bed at a decent hour last night and it wasn't terrible getting up this morning.

Work today was just nuts. This week is our deadline for soccer registrations. It's also the last week for most of my basketball leagues. That means I have to make tournaments, hand out pictures, all that fun stuff! Some people in my office don't handle stress very well, which makes stressful weeks like this one even more stressful for everyone else. Someday they'll see that we're all in the same boat together and it will be so much more calm around there! But, I still love those people!

I still can't hear out of my left ear. I've come to the conclusion that I really can live with hearing out of just one ear (at least for now). But, I CAN'T live with the constant ringing in my deaf ear. It's like having static in my head 24/8! I'm going to go crazy!! But, I am confident that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my circumstances. I'm sure there's still a lesson He needs me to learn. And I know that I will get my hearing back. I'm doing my best to be patient in the meantime!

California!!

I made it to California...but only just barely. Tuesday wasn't the best day. I didn't really have an appetite, but I ate anyway so I could take the prescriptions the doctor gave me for my ear. On Tuesday night after I had packed everything I could pack, I went to bed. I laid awake in bed for hours. Then, I started throwing up. I threw up all night long. I slept for an hour from 4 to 5 when my alarm went off. I just didn't know what to do. It had only been an hour since the last time I had thrown up. I didn't know if I was sick or if the prescription was making me sick (the doctor said it definitely could make me sick, which is why I had to take it with food). I got up and tried to get ready. I didn't feel good. I didn't really feel "sick," but I was exhausted from being up all night and my tummy wasn't the happiest. I was dizzy (probably from my ear) and I thought it would probably be a bad idea to travel...at least that morning.

I called Delta to see if I could transfer my flight. I didn't know if they had accommodations for travelers who have fallen ill. You would think they would - just as a courtesy to all the other passengers on the plane. But, no. I found out that I could transfer my flight to the next day for a small fee of $150. I just couldn't justify that so I finished getting ready (half-heartedly) and left for the airport. I took a bucket with me. I made Jared stop once on the way because I thought I was going to puke. But, I didn't - good thing. I took an anti-motion sickness pill before I left in hopes that would calm my stomach - especially during the flight. I think it started to kick in because I started to feel a little better.

I met Natalie at the gate! It was just so good to see her. When she first found out we were on the same flight, she said she didn't want to try to sit together on the plane. She wanted some time to herself to make the transition while she was flying home. That made sense to me. But, when she read my email on Tuesday about the whole situation with my ear, she changed her mind. She really wanted to sit with me on the plane - just in case something happened. Turns out, our seats were right next to each other anyway! How cool is that? The flight was uneventful. Nothing happened with my ear. The doctor was right - flying didn't do anything.

The rest of the day was not my favorite. I was so glad to be in California and to be with Natalie, but I was just "off." I was super tired. My world was spinning - all the time. The anti-motion sickness pill does a great job of making me non-functional, which is how I felt. I slept for most of the afternoon.

We went to the stake president's office so Natalie could get released. It was a sweet experience for her. I know it was hard for her, but it was definitely a sweet moment. Her stake president is awesome.

Last night was wonderful. I slept really well and I woke up this morning feeling like a new person! I'm excited for whatever we happen to do today!

A clean MRI

I am exhausted. It's way too late. Today has been a "dizzy" day. Since my ear has been messed up the last few days, some days I'm really dizzy, other days I'm not dizzy. It's kind of throwing me off right now. I'm leaving for California in the morning. I have to wake up super early so I have stayed up way too late trying to get everything done. I just have to finish packing and dry my hair and then I will embrace the comfort of my bed!!

I got a call from my doctor today. She said that she got the MRI back and it's clean - no problems. I was relieved and disappointed all in one. I was relieved to know that my brain is working the way it should be. I was a little disappointed because I'm still deaf for no reason. I'm sure there's a reason - I just don't know what it is.

Tonight I asked my brother and my dad to give me a blessing. I know that Heavenly Father is very aware of me and my situation and I know that through Him all things are possible. I have faith that through the priesthood and through obedience He will see me through this trial. I know that I will hear again. In the mean time I will be patient and endure to the end.

Tomorrow will be a good day. My friend Natalie has been serving a mission here at Temple Square. She is from California and tomorrow she will fly home and end her mission. I am going home with her. I'm excited to see her and laugh with her and maybe even cry with her. I have missed her dearly. I'm very proud of her decision to serve a mission, but I'll be happy to have her back.

Permanantly deaf???

Today did not go the way I had planned it in my head. I went to the ear, nose, and throat doctor today. The results were not positive. The doctor got all serious and said, "This isn't good....this may not come back..." That's not what I expected. Here are some responses I was prepared to deal with, "Oh there's some fluid in your ear, let's poke a hole in your ear drum and fix it." "Oh yeah, this happens all the time, it will resolve itself shortly." Or even, "It's meneires disease and you can expect this to happen periodically...don't' worry it will go away." Instead I am trying to soak in the idea that I may be deaf in my left ear for the rest of my life. I think that thought is a little too much for me to wrap my mind around right now. The doctor did a bunch a test that proved that my balance is terrible and I literally have 0% hearing in my left ear. She sent me to get an MRI tonight just to see if there's some reason for it in my brain. She said she was pretty sure it would come back just fine. I have a follow-up appointment next Tuesday. She said she would call me when she gets the results of the MRI. Whatever happens I know I will be fine. I will find a way to make it work.

I got to go the Jazz game tonight. I had asked my friend Kenny to go with me. It was a little awkward when I had to call Kenny to tell him we had to go a little bit late because I had to go get an MRI. That's kind of a wicked excuse!! But, he was super cool about it. He met me at the trax station (yes I was brave enough to get on the trax train again ...I wasn't alone!) and we rode trax to the delta center...energy solutions arena...whatever it's called these days. It was fun. The Jazz won. I think I must be a good luck charm for them. I've only ever been to two games, but they won both of them! I'm glad we could go, and I'm glad Kenny could come with us.

Things to be excited about!

Today was just an all-around awesome day! We had stake conference today. It was a little bit different to go to stake conference by myself. I kind of liked it. I had an overwhelming sense of family during the conference. A lot of the talks were about strengthening our families and such. But, more than that, I was very mindful of all the families that were all around me. I love watching little kids, parents with babies, brothers with sisters, grandparents with toddlers - I saw it all. I love my family so so much, but I cannot deny the ache in my heart for my own family. I know I will have the opportunity eventually. I'm just excited so it feels like it's taking forever. Isn't that how all exciting things are?

I spent a lot of time with Sharon today. I went to her house after my stake conference. Someone in her ward gave her the study guide that goes with the Book of Mormon. She's never really read the Book of Mormon. She's hesitant to do so because all she remembers is being confused by the things she didn't understand. I showed her how the study guide works and gave her a bit of advice from my own experience with the scriptures. Hopefully she'll take a dive into them this week! I'm excited for the progress she is making. I can tell she has made some changes in her life and I love it! We went to her sacrament meeting today. And later today she came to Packards for dinner. She made it a point to avoid smoking the whole time we were there - which was actually kind of a long time. She was rather pleasant the whole time too. She even had a real coversation with Wendee. I love Wendee and I love Sharon, but I wasn't holding my breath for the day they would hit it off. I was kind of blown away. I love it!! I hope that Sharon continues to progress the way she has lately. I think it's the beginning of a long and very important road for her to turn her life around. I have faith she can do it too!

I am excited for a lot of things tomorrow. I'm excited to go to the ear, nose and throat doctor. I am praying my little heart out that they will be able to fix my ear! I need my ear back!! And I need the ringing to stop! I'm excited to go to work...kind of. I'm excited to go because I won't have to be there all week. That's kind of confusing. I'm going to California on Wednesday (which I'm also excited for) so I only have to work Monday and Tuesday. After work tomorrow I get to go to the Jazz game with my co-workers - lower bowl!! Wahoo!! And, I invited Kenny to go with me. Kenny's probably one of my favorite people ever and I haven't seen him since I left Rexburg last April - long time! It should be good times.