Illegal drugs

I adopted this mantra a few years ago. It goes like this - Don't make a big deal out of something that isn't a big deal...and it's not a big deal unless it will matter in five years. It's actually served me well. It helps me keep my cool and not stress about things that don't really matter - like being stuck in traffic. Yeah it sucks, but why stress and get upset about it - it will be over eventually and chances are you won't remember in five years. I wish that I could make other people adopt this mantra as well. I had a very stressful day at work and it didn't have to be. Everyone in the office is excited about the 4th of July. It's understandable...it's a big event and we want it to be good for the people of Sandy. But, there is no way we can be prepared for every little thing that could go wrong. That's where it comes in handy to be flexible and calm and deal with things as they come. And while I have that mindset, it's hard to keep that mindset when everyone is freaking out!! Don't make a big deal out of something that isn't a big deal.

On a funnier note. Today I tried to get on to my blog and it was blocked. It said I couldn't access the website because of the content - illegal drugs. I'm fairly certain I haven't written anything about illegal drugs...or drugs at all. I laughed - a lot.

Nervous!

It is going to be a week!! Not only do I have all the craziness with the 4th of July, my dad also starts chemo on Tuesday. AND, I got asked today to teach the gospel doctrine class next Sunday. I don't feel adequate enough to teach. I know it will be a good experience. It's always good to step outside your comfort zone every once in a while. I'm a little nervous that I won't do a good job, but I'm more nervous that I will do a good job. The current teacher got called to a different calling so the calling is open. They're going to try using substitutes for a little while while they find someone to fill it for good. Nervous!! Say a little prayer for me.

I have an awesome family. Not only that, but I also have an awesome second family. My sister-in-law's family is the best. I consider them my family. We go over there for dinner every week. I love it - there's always so much going on. I could just sit and watch everyone all day and be content. My sister-in-law's parents, or Oma and Opa to just about everyone, go out of their way every week to cook dinner for the whole family. When I found out I couldn't eat gluten, they went out of their way to make sure that there was always something I could eat when we went over there. I am more grateful than I could ever describe or express. I have wanted to cry with happiness on more than one occassion. I love them and the way they take care of me.

We talked about families in Relief Society today, more specifically stregthening our families. It made me think about my family and how the trials we've had and the things we've been through have brought us all together. What a blessing to be so close. And now with all the things going on, we've all had the opportunity to provide some much needed service. All five of us kids spent a good chuck of Saturday over there cleaning and fixing things in the yard. My dad said he was "giddy" with all the things that got done yesterday. It really is true that our trials are blessings in disguise. And while they're hard and I sometimes wish I didn't have to have them, I really am grateful for the trust the Lord has in me to overcome and learn something while I do it.

Random things you may or may not know:

Today was a great day - running, cleaning, rollar skating with the kids, dinner, ice cream, and movie...and hopefully going to bed early!!

I've been thinking a bit about myself lately. I know that might sound selfish, but I've been thinking of the things that make me me. I decided to write some of these things down. Here is it - a list of random things you may or may not know about Jetta Valentine:
- My nicknames include: Jetta, Jetta Joe, Jetta Louise, Jella, My Jetta, Pumpkin, Pumpkinetta, Sweet Cheeks, BFF, Jed, Jet
- I floss my teeth EVERY day
- If I could pick any car in the world - it would be the car I already own
- I am a sucker for chick flicks
- I like any kind of music as long as it's clean
- My pajamas rarely match
- My favorite thing to wear is a hoodie and jeans
- I sing in the car
- I hate to blow dry my hair
- I love a good love song
- My beverage of choice is water
- I can't eat anything that has gluten in it
- I hate it when anything touches the tips of my fingernails, or if my fingernails get too long
- I love light - lighthouses, starts, fireworks, christmas lights
- I have an extra muscle in my hand
- I love the smell of rain
- I will go out of my way to step on a cruchy leaf or splash in slush
- If I don't get enough sleep, I cry very easily
- I love to listen to people
- If I'm learing, I'm happy
- I love to laugh...if I could laugh so hard I cried every day I would
- Little kids crack me up
- I could listen to my mom play the piano for hours and be content
- I've been out of the country exactly one time
- My ears are pierced but I don't wear earings
- I have never dyed my hair
- I love kettle corn
- My eyes change colors and sometimes they're two different colors
- I love brand new socks
- If I had to pick a favorite hymn, it would be #97

I may think of more later...if I do, I'll add to the list.

Still tired

I made it through the week. It's been a long one...but Friday is finally here! Next week is going to be crazy busy, I can almost guarantee it. The 4th of July is only one week away. But I'm excited. I love it when things get crazy. It keeps life interesting.

If I were to take a break at all today and close my eyes for a whole minute, I bet I would be asleep in one minute. I have to be more disciplined and going to bed earlier, especially next week. I don't function very well when I'm tired and I need to be functioning well next week so I can get everything together for the race.

I enjoyed a night at home tonight. I'm grateful for the down time...to just relax.

Tomorrow is going to be an adventure. Wendee and I are running 13 miles. I don't feel ready for it and I'm afraid I'm going to be way slow for her to run with. I'm really excited that she's getting faster, but it's gets hard for me to feel like I'm always trying to catch up. I spend more energy worrying about now slowing her down than I do actually running! After the run I'm going over to my parents house. We're having a cleaning party. Hopefully it won't last all day. I'm already looking forward to an afternoon nap tomorrow. That's just sad!

Tired

It's been a long time since I've been this tired. I had a hard time staying awake at work...not a good thing. It probably didn't help much that I woke up early to run with Wendee. It was a good run, but maybe another hour of sleep would have been good. We're supposed to run 13 on Saturday - we'll see how that goes.

I was invincible at work today. There were a couple issues that were raised - had a couple people really anxious about how things were going to work out for the 4th. I had already thought through those things so I was able to offer solutions that they actually approved of.

I visited my parents today. My dad goes in for a central line tomorrow and he starts the high dose chemo on Tuesday. I was talking with my dad tonight. He said something about how he was reading through his journal. He wrote in his journal every day of the transplant. He let me get it out and read some of it. There some entries that didn't make sense at all - he must have been on some wicked medication. There were other entries that had little scribbles in the middle of them - like my dad had fallen asleep while he was writing. It was kind of entertaining to read. I hope things go well for him.

I hope I can get some good sleep tonight. I can't nod off at my computer again like today!

The Flaw

I have realized the flaw in this whole blogging idea. I can't write everything I would write in a journal because other people can read this. And I don't want to make it restricted because then how am I supposed to share the gospel? I suppose I can just be general and leave out specifics, but what's the fun in that?

I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up tired. It made for a long day of work, a day that went far too slow for me. I think I'm feeling a false sense of security about work. I feel like things are going really planning for the race. I just worry that I am missing something or that I've forgotten something important. I guess we'll see when the 4th gets here.

I went on a date tonight, with the guy I met at Costco, John. We saw the movie Get Smart. It was a good movie and good company. I hope to go out with him again.

"Best day ever!"

I loved devotionals at BYU-Idaho. I loved taking an hour out of the regularly scheduled week to be spiritual fed. I remember one devotional in particular. I can't remember who it was that was speaking, but she told a story of a mother. This mother would not allow her children to get out of bed in the morning until they said, out loud, "Best day ever!!" This helped the kids have a good attitude from the beginning and she found the days went better. I recorded myself saying "Best day ever!" and set it as my alarm so when I woke up in the morning, that was the first thing I heard. It was good reminder. Today would definitely qualify as the best day ever...or at least one of them.

I love to shop at Harmons. There is a Harmons close to where I work and I thought this morning that I should stop by Harmons on the way home and pick up some things. I thought about it a couple times during the day, but I decided it wasn't the best idea. I had plans to attend institute tonight and I didn't want to make an extra stop on the way home and be late. But, as I was leaving I thought again that I should go to Harmons. So I decided I would make a quick stop. As I was walking through the isles, I came across a woman who was talking with her husband and a Harmon's employee. They were talking about things being gluten free. It sparked my interest. I'm not one to talk to people I don't know. But something nudged me. I asked her if she was doing the gluten free thing. She said she was. I welcomed her to the club. I took the opportunity to talk with her for a few minutes. I offered my support and told her as much as I could in the few minutes we had. She reminded me of when I first had to go gluten free. It was really hard for me. I felt like I was starving. I didn't know what to eat and I wished that when I was going through that, someone would have been there to support me and tell me the tricks of the trade and offer suggestions. It was very rewarding to be able to do that for this lady. She seemed grateful. I thought about it all the way home (which was quite the drive - I was stopped on the freeway at 7:00PM...gotta love traffic!). It wasn't until I got home that I had this insight - that's one of the reasons why Heavenly Father gives us trials. It is in our trials that we have the opportunity to support each other, to bear one another burdens. Tonight I bore that woman's trial with her. I felt for her. And there's no way I could have offered her the help I did if I hadn't been in her shoes once. I hope I can remember that the next time I feel deprived because I can't eat something yummy!

I got to go to institute tonight. I just love, love, love my teachers. Brother and Sister McKay are older. They have been so many places, done so many things, met so many people, and have so many stories that I could just sit and listen and listen to them talk for hours and hours. I absolutely love the relationship they share. They have been together so long and he still looks at her like she's his whole world. He fully supports her and she fully supports him and you can tell. I hope someday when I old I will have someone that will support me like that. What a comfort to know that someone is there to back you up no matter what!

I had a few insights during the class. I scribbled them on a paper, but I know it will get thrown away eventually. Brother McKay was talking about Brigham Young. He talked about how he was an emotional man and he got worked up about certain things. He said, "You should find something in your life to be passionate about." I LOVE that he said that!! That is something I have thought for a while now. It's hard to relate to other people if you're not passionate about something. Find something in your life to be passionate about.

Sister McKay was talking about George Albert Smith. She talked about his courtship with Lucy Woodruff. Lucy was torn between two suitors - George Albert Smith and another man. She finally decided on George Albert. She said that what she had for the other man was an infatuation with a handsome man. Sister McKay pointed out that George Albert Smith was not exactly the most handsome man. Granted we don't have many good pictures, but the pictures we do have are not the most attractive. She counseled us to take the time to see what's under the surface. I can only imagine what would have happened if Lucy would have gone for the handsome man rather than the amazing man that George Albert Smith was. She said herself that if she would have done that it would have been a big mistake.

We read a few stories about George Albert Smith. With every story, we talked about the characteristics that he possessed. This was the list:
organized mind
makes the time
no respecter of persons
loving
service
motivated
courageous
Christlike
good attitude
not-condemning
brother's keeper
generous
bold
charitable
faithful
empathetic
compassionate
I sure there are a lot more characteristics that could have been named, but we only have so long in the class. Sister McKay challenged us to pick a characteristic that we could use some work on. She challenged us to write it down somewhere we would see it and be reminded. The characteristic I chose to work on is "makes the time." Time is valuable and especially lately I don't feel like I have a lot of it. I spend at least 8 hours a day at work. I usually spend another hour and half driving back and forth. When I'm home, I'm content to be at home. But I know there are so many things I could do if I would make the time. For example, my grandma has been wanting me to come over for quite some time. I keep making excuses about why I can't go over. It's something I need to make the time for. My dad told me he would help me fix my car. I know all I have to do is go over there and he will help me. But...I haven't found the time to go over there. I can never get the time I have back so I need to make sure I am doing my best to make the time for the things that most important to me.

Brother McKay taught us a theory. It's the theory of the "Pat of Meaning." At least that's what he called it. It goes like this - an incident occurs. When the incident occurs, we make observations. From those observations we draw our conclusions. Those conclusions dictate our emotions which in turn dictate our actions. I learned two important things from this theory and George Albert Smith's life. #1 - we need to be looking outward in order to make observations in the first place. We can't make observations if we're not looking. And #2 - We need to be striving to have a Christ-like mindset when we draw our conclusions. It's easy to draw a conclusion right away without stepping back to consider the whole situation. It was an interesting thing to think about.

It's amazing to me that 3 hours can change my opinion of the entire day. Before 6:00 I would have stamped the day as an average day. After 3 - it ranks as one of the "Best days ever!"

Opportunity

I have a security blanket at work. Her name is Melissa. She has taught me most of what I know. She was so kind when I started and she continues to be even now. Whenever I have a question I know I can go to her. I know I can go to anyone else in the office too, they're all very helpful, but I feel like Melissa went out of her way to take me under her wing. I was worried for this week. This week Melissa is at Lake Powell all week. I was a little worried I would feel lost without her. Today I found out that I'm not lost without her. I did miss her, but today was just like any other day of work. I'm glad. I was worried this week would drag on forever, but if the rest of the week passes like today it will done before I know it.

I'm beginning to feel the stress of the 4th of July. It hasn't felt close at all yet. Today I feel like it's close. I have to work pretty close with another individual on the races. That individual is not my favorite and is not the best person to have to work with. It makes me appreciate agency. I feel so restricted in planning for these races. They have done things a certain way for a long time and I feel like I have to do things their way. Their way is okay, but there are so many things they could do so much better! This is the way I see it - it's like the war in heaven. Satan wanted us to all have to choose the right, to choose his way with no other option. The guy I have to work with wants me to choose his way. But there was a better way in heaven. Christ wanted us to be able to choose for ourselves. A lot of us are choosing the right, even though we're not being forced to. We have the choice. That was the better option in heaven and I'm pretty sure it would be the better option here. I suppose I can see the appeal for satan to want us to do things his way. I wish I could make everyone do everything my way. I guess that's something I could work on. I need to be able to work with the people who have been doing this for years and council to make the best race possible for those who will choose to be involved. And I need to remember that I'm not perfect and chances are this race I'm planning will not be perfect either. That just means I have an opportunity to learn and be better. And I'm grateful for that opportunity.

"You guys are laughing and it's making it so I can't dance."

Besides the fact the I'm feeling a little sleep deprived, today has been a great day. Church was good...mostly. I had a hard time with some of the people who choose to sit behind me. It was hard for me to concentrate because people were whispering and laughing so much! It made me feel a little bit guilty for the times that I have been disruptive during church meetings. It's not fair to the people around.

I love my family. They're perfect for me. Jared and Wendee and the kids get home from church a few minutes after I do. We all end up in the kitchen together getting some lunch. Today while we were all cooking, Melodee came in to practice her violin. As she was playing, my brother started doing ballet in the kitchen!! It's hard to keep a straight face watching a grown man dance so daintily around the kitchen. I cried I was laughing so hard. After the dancing, Wendee said something and Jared lost it! He got his monster energy drink up his nose!! It was awesome!! Jared had a goal at every family dinner we had growing up. That goal was to make some kind of liquid come out someone's nose. He has a real gift for that. 9 times out of 10 I was the victim! It was fun to see him get a taste of his own medicine. And it was hilarious!

I laid down after lunch to watch the olympic trials. I am facinated by the things that people can do. It's amazing. Holly came to watch with me. We both only saw about 20 minutes and then we were out. It was a good nap. When everyone came downstairs to wake us up I felt like I got cheated - like I had only just fallen asleep. I had really been asleep for a long time.

We had a little family home evening tonight. It was about food storage. We're going to need it soon, I know it. It has been taught in so many times, over and over and over again. I have a unique situation with the food storage idea. The main things they suggest you have I can't eat. I suppose that just makes it all the important that I get on top of it and get my own storage. I have felt impressed to persue that a few times and now it needs to be time to follow through.

I feel like I was busy all day, and yet I don't feel like I actually did anything. I slept in - hooray!! I finally got up at 8:30 because I told my dad I would help him get some stuff done. I didn't actually end up helping him get anything done in the yard. He was gone at the ward breakfast when I got there and by the time he got back it was too hot to do anything in the yard. (Hottest day of the year.) I did help him take his car into the shop and we went shopping later in the afternoon. I know I'm in for a treat when it's time to actually get to work in the yard. I went to IKEA with Jared and Wendee and the kids. I've been there a few times and I love everything there. I am amazed that I have never actually made a purchase there. I think it's probably a good thing. If I decided I was going to buy something, I would probably buy lots of things. It's probably best not to get started. But when I get my own place someday, you can bet that I will do my part to keep them in business.

I went to get new running shoes today. Two of my toenails have turned purple after the race last Saturday...not a good thing. I need to get a bigger size. Unfortunately, my feet are so big they didn't have the size I need in stock. I had to order them!! Unbelievable. The things I do to feed my running addiction!

As I was spending some time with my dad today he really made me think about something he said. He said that he basically has a week to get everything in his life in order. It made me think - what if I was in his shoes. What if I had one week to do all the things I have been meaning to do and haven't gotten around to yet. These are the things I might consider:

1. Clean - my room is a disaster right now. I moved in around a bunch of stuff Jared and Wendee were storing in my room. It could definitely use an overhaul.
2. Get my finances in order - my finances are in order for me, but I don't know what would happen to everything if I were to die. I don't know how my family gets access to my life insurance. I don't know what would happen to the money I have in the bank or my 401K (22 and I have a retirement account - madness.)
3. I think I would spend a lot of time on the phone. There are a lot of people I really love that I haven't talked to in a while. I would probably want to talk to them at least for a minute.
4. I would want to play! I would want to plan something I would totally love - a party or something.

That's something I will have to keep thinking about. It's interesting to see things in that perspective - what's really important.

The black screen of death

This morning I turned my computer on. I don't usually have to do that. I usually just close it and it hibernates and then I wake it up in the morning. But this morning I had to turn it on. It started to load and then...dun dun dun....the black screen of death!! This is not the first time I have experienced the black screen of death. A few months ago I had the same problem. Jared is a computer expert and he diagnosed the problem - my hard drive was shot ("Dear Jetta, Sucks to be you. Love, your computer minus the hard drive."). So being the wonderful brother he is, he found a new one and miraculously saved everything I had on my computer with the exception of my music. Luckily I had all my music saved on my ipod. I don't think I'm going to have Jared fix my old laptop. He said he has a laptop he will sell me for cheap. I'm pretty sure that's going to be a better option. I'm actually using the laptop right now. I'll have to work out things out with Jared to see if he can save what was on my old computer and transfer it to this one. Gotta love technology...I'm totally dependant!!

I got to watch one of my favorite movies after work today. I love 27 dresses. It's a chick flick through and through, and I love it. I really love one of the lines in the movie. I always forget about it until I hear it again. Jane is talking to Tess and she says, "Why would you ever want to be me when you get to be you?" I think that's profound. It makes me wonder why I would every want to be anyone else when I get to be me. And when I really think about it, I don't want to be anyone else. I like being me! Sometimes it takes a line in a chick flick to remind me!!

I've been working on the 4th of July races at work. I made a little change...something that a non-runner probably wouldn't think of. I am making the runners come and pick up their packets with their shirts, numbers, etc the day before the race. I can't imagine having 500+ people trying to get their stuff before the race. I was a little worried about because there were some people in the office that were opposed to the idea because it's not what has been done in the past. But today I overheard a lady that was at the window registering for the race. She said, "Oh I am so glad we can pick up our packets before the race. That's a really good idea." I wasn't at the window...I didn't see the lady and I didn't see the other people in the office. But I felt really validated. I was glad that someone appreciated what I am trying to do. Hopefully I will be able to continue to make changes to help people out.

I am so excited that I get to get some quality sleep tonight!! I have been going to bed later and later every day. I've had such a hard time waking up in the morning. This morning I totally forgot I was supposed to go to a meeting...oops!! But my boss forgave me quickly. I love days that I don't have to set my alarm for anything. I might set my alarm...I haven't decided yet. I promised my parents I would spend some time over there tomorrow - getting the yard fixed up, cleaning the house...there's a lot of work to be done. I technically don't have to be there at a specific time, but I suppose the earlier I go over there the cooler it will be. Maybe I'll set the alarm so I won't sleep too late...that's just as bad as not getting enough sleep. Oh how I love sleep!!

Quite the day

Today was a CRAZY day!! It started this morning when I got to work. My co-worker Melissa and I had a lot of shopping to do for the 4th of July events. She is going to be gone next week so we planned to do a lot of it today. We had crazy adventures at Costco. It was the first time I've ever been to Costco. We got the run-around because we didn't have the right cards or numbers or something...it was complicated. But, in the end, we ended up with everything we came for. We had 30 cases of water bottles and a few other things loaded on two flatbed carts. We were on our way out when someone came up and asked if he could help us out. We said we were fine, but he told us he was pretty bored and would love something to do. He helped us out (which I'm grateful for because that was a lot of water!!) and he ended up asking me out! I was flattered, to say the least, that a perfect stranger would ask me out. It made quite the story to tell the ladies in the office.

Melissa and I got back to the office just in time to turn around and go out again. We went to Wal-mart to buy prizes for the prize-drawing in conjunction with the races. It was pretty fun to roam around the store and buy random stuff that we thought people would like. There were a few things I wouldn't mind getting! But, by the time we were done in Wal-mart, we were shopped out, tired, and grumpy!!

We made it back to the office just in time for me to leave again. My boss Kevin was supposed to help with a Hershey track meet tonight. He had a meeting scheduled for him at the last minute so he asked if I would go to the track meet. I left at 4:00. The track meet was a mess. It was not put together very well and it was really frustrating!! I finally got to go home at 8:00 after working almost 12 hours with no lunch break!! (I did get to eat lunch...at my desk...working between shopping trips.)

I'm officially exhausted. I can't believe it's Thursday today...it doesn't feel like it. I feel like this week went by really fast!

Moon-alicious

There were a lot of good things that happened today. I learned one of the major responsibilities of my job today. I learned how to put a league together. It's something I will have do a lot of in just less than a month. I've heard that time of year is basically insanity at work. I'm excited.

I took a nap at work today. I'm required to take at least 30 minutes for "lunch" every day. I don't like to just sit and eat - it feels like a waste. If I had the choice I would eat lunch at my desk and leave a half hour earlier - but I'm not allowed. So today I ate lunch at my desk and when I got a little sleepy, I marked myself out to lunch, closed my door, turned off the light and laid down under my desk. I actually really fell asleep. I may have to do it again in the future. I've done it before in my car...the car's a little more comfy, but it's too hot outside now.

Last night I asked my mom to alter some of my race shirts. There were 2 shirts I really liked, but the sleeves were too long. It's not very fun to run with sleeves in your elbow pits! So I asked my mom to shorten the sleeves. Apparently I had a bad idea. She did exactly what I asked her to, but it didn't turn out like I hoped it would. I'm pretty sad about it. I'm hoping to have some stroke of genius so I can figure out how to make them work right. It's not looking very promising though. Oh well, they're just shirts, right?

My family had an adventure tonight. There was supposed to be a moon illusion. It was supposed to look really big. My brother and sister-in-law thought it would be fun to go up trapper's loop to see the moon. We got up there at about 8:30...the moon didn't come up until 9:45. We had some good times waiting in the car together. We saw a deer, sang moon songs, told moon jokes, and laughed a lot. When the moon came up, we got out of the car and did a moon dance. It was awesome! The moon looked the same size as it always does, but it was worth the wait because of the fun. I'm always grateful for moments like that - those are the things that we remember...good times with good people.

I found a hike I have been looking for today. A long time ago my dad took me and my brother on a hike in Salt Lake. It wasn't very long. We packed a lunch and took it with us. We hiked up a mountain and when we got to the top, there was a bunch of rocks that had been put together to form furniture - like the Flintstones or something. We ate our lunch on rock couches and chairs. I don't know why but I have always remembered that - good times with good people I suppose. I have asked my dad many times where the hike is exactly. His response is always really vague. He drew me a map in church on Sunday. I'll have to find some way to scan it in. It's ridiculous and there's no way I could find it with the map. But, today I searched google. I had searched for it online using every combination of: rock furniture, hike, salt lake city, utah I could think of - never anything. But apparently on the 5th, it was the hike of the week in the Salt Lake Tribune. There was a picture of some of the furniture, instructions on how to get there, and a real map!! I am so excited to go up there and see if it's how I remember it! I don't know who I'm going to get to go with me though...I'm sure I can find someone though.

Assuming the role

I got to go to Melodee’s dance recital today. She takes ballet at Clytie Adams here in Kaysville. It was a fun show. I laughed more than every have at things like that. It was entertaining. Melodee did a fabulous job, as always.

It’s interesting to me how we have the ability to adapt to the situations we are placed in. For example, at work I am in charge of the races. Right now I am working hard on the 5K and 10K that will be run on the 4^th of July. I have been a little timid in the past weeks trying to get a feel for what is expected, what has been done in the past, and what we need to do that make things better this year. I’m excited about it! I have adapted to assume the role of race director. I find myself telling people who have been working with Sandy City for year how things are going to run this year. There’s no way I could have done that a couple weeks ago. I like it.

My dad went to the doctor today. They are going ahead with the transplant. They will start as soon as they get the all-clear from the insurance company. My mom said that will probably take a week or two. So, here we go… They’re doing the out-patient thing. They told my parents that in order to do that, they want them to be living no more than 15 minutes away from the hospital. I’m not sure what my parents are going to do…I don’t think they know what they’re going to do. If any one reading this knows of someone who has an empty house in Salt Lake, or a basement apartment or something, please let me know. Unfortunately, it won’t work out very well to live with someone in their house. They have to be able to control the living environment. Everyone is reacting differently. My mom is strong. She is assuming her role as the care-giver/protector/advocate. My dad is down-playing the situation. I am assuming the brave, supportive daughter role. I’m sure that there will be plenty more opportunity for me to help out. I am taking deep breaths and moving forward.

Monday Madness

There are a few things that have been on my "list of things to do" for quite some time now. I'm really good at remember the things I need to do when I can't actually do them. While I'm at home I remember the things I really need to do at work and when I'm at work I remember the things I need to do at home. I bought myself a planner that will fit in my purse for this very reason. However, when I got home I found that the planner starts in July 2008 - how random is that? So I suppose I'll be disorganized until July... Anyway, I just finished two of the things that have been on the mental list of things to do for just about a month now. I finished a letter for a friend who is serving a mission and I completed a mail-in rebate that I got with my new cell phone. Both are very simple things that should have just been completed when I started them...but I forgot. I'm going to drop them both at the post office in the morning and I will feel very accomplished!

I also need to stop by the car shop on my way to work tomorrow. My car started making a horrible noise when I got off the highway today. My dad suspects it's something with the brakes. He's pretty much a genius when it comes to car stuff so I wouldn't doubt he's right. I just hope that they can either fix it fast or tell me I don't need to fix it right away. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't get to work in the morning!! Could be a great adventure!

I love days like today. Every Monday we have a staff meeting at work. I have to be there by 8:30, but I know someday I'm going to get stuck in terrible traffic so I leave early. I usually get there about 8:00, which is an hour earlier that I usually go. Because we have meeting in the morning, it makes the day go by really fast!! When I actually took notice of what time it was today, it was already 4:00!! I love that. I love being busy and productive. I know I'm just getting a small taste of how busy I will be in the next few weeks and I'm excited. I know that's weird, but I am motivated by stress. The more I have to do, the easier it is for me to do it. It makes it so I have to be organized and thorough. If I don't have a lot to do, it's easy for me to forget about the things I do have to do. My brain is weird like that.

Teton Dam Half Marathon

I got to go to Idaho this weekend. It was awesome! A long time ago my roommate Riana said something about running a half marathon this summer. I told her she could totally do it and I told her I would do it with her. That was when I was still planning to be in Idaho for the summer. She called me on the last day of registration and said she had been training and wanted to know if I was "fully invested." I was hesitant. I had been running, but not seriously. I knew if I committed that night I could be ready in time for the race...so I did it, and I'm so glad I did. Riana did an amazing job!! She only walked through the water stations, and she was smiling and happy at the end, which is more than I can say for my first half marathon. When I crossed the finish line of my first half, I was miserable, tired, hot, cramping, and crying. I swore that I would never do it again...apparently that didn't last long! There are a lot of good things out of this race:
1. Riana finished her first half!! I know she would have done it even if I wasn't there. But, I know that it's no fun to take on a daunting task like that on your own.
2. I had made a goal for another half marathon I am running in August to not run with my pack, and only walk at the aid stations. I didn't think I would be able to do that very easily. But, that's what Ri and I did and I know I can definitely do it again. I might run a little bit slower, but if I don't walk every half mile, the time will probably be better.
3. Watching the people come in from the full marathon got me REALLY excited for the St. George Marathon!!
4. It never ceases to amaze me - just think about all the things our physical bodies can do - including run 13.1 miles and still function for the rest of the day.
5. There are so many events that we just take for granted. I came, ran the race, did my thing, and I don't think I would have even thought about all the work that went into it if I wasn't working on organizing a race myself. I wish there was some way to thank all the people that deserve thanks!!
6. I love Rexburg. I love the time I was able to spend there. However, I didn't feel like it was home like I used to. That's a good thing because I don't live there and it's not my home. It's just interesting to me that that feeling of "home" can change when it needs to...interesting isn't the right word...comforting I guess. It's just a testimony to me that I'm where I need to be. Even though Rexburg will always hold a dear place in my heart, it is not where I'm supposed to be right now.

The trip was great. It was wonderful to be able to see some friends. I wish I had a little more time to be able to see everyone, but there just wasn't enough time this weekend. I did take a few pictures...once I have some time to really figure this blog thing out I will post some.

Today is father's day. It was a good day. I didn't make it back to Kaysville in time to go to the singles ward so I went to my parent's ward. It was actually fun to be with my dad on Father's day. He was a little disappointed when the primary kids didn't sing the "I'm so glad when daddy comes home..." song. I told him I would sing it to him later. I got my dad a little book for Father's Day. It's basically a guide to writing your own personal history. It asks questions about your life - growing up, family, dating, etc...things you would want to know about your grandparents or great-grandparents, but you wouldn't necessarily think to ask. I hope that my dad takes the time to write in it. I know it's something I would love and probable something my kids would enjoy someday as well.

It's amazing what a difference a good night's sleep can do for someone's outlook on life. I woke up this morning with a new light and new perspective. I'm still anxious, but not nearly as much as I was last night.

I had a meeting today for the 4th of July. I used to think that Kaysville was unique in the celebrations they have for the 4th. But, I don't really think that anymore. Nothing will ever top Kaysville's 4th of July, but now I know that many other cities have celebrations of their own, Sandy is no exception. I have the wonderful opportunity to be the race director. I'm so excited and so frustrated at the same time. There are so many changes I want to make, but I have to be careful not to step on anyone's toes - I'm still new. I was feeling fine about the race until today. They pointed out in the meeting that the 4th is only 22 days away. That is so much closer than I thought! I'm excited...it should be a fun adventure. But, I know there's still a lot of planning I have to do if it is going to be as well-planned as I want it to be.

I got to see my nephew Josh play baseball today. I love to watch him. I love to watch any of the kids do the things that kids do. I love school programs, and games, and recitals. I know I'm ridiculous, but I just think it's so tender. Those little kids just have me wrapped around their fingers. They are directly connected to my heart. It makes me excited to have my own kids someday and be able to see their school programs, and games, and recitals!

I get to go to Idaho tomorrow! I'm really excited, more so today than I have been before today. I don't get excited until I feel like things are really real...today the trip to Rexburg feels real! I won't have my computer in Rexburg. I hate to miss the blog, but I suppose I will just write in my paper journal and update the blog when I get back.

Putting on a brave face

I had so many things I wanted to write about today...but things have changed in the last couple of hours. Now I have just one thing on my mind. I have had the unique experience of dealing with cancer in my family. My dad was diagnosed almost 7 years ago. He was not expected to live very long, but he has done his part to blow expectations out of the water. Part of the reason he is alive today is because 7 years ago he underwent a stem cell transplant. When it was first explained to me, this is what they said - basically, they harvest my dad's bone marrow, clean it as best they can, kill everything in his body and then give the clean stem cells back to him. The stem cells multiple until eventually his body systems are working again. Doesn't sound so bad - except for the killing everything in his body part. I watched my dad suffer for a long time...I sat with him in the hospital...I filled in for my mom at home so she could be with him...I watched my mom shave his head...I cleaned my house from top to bottom when he could finally come home...I helped him shave when he was too sick to do it himself...I was very humbled. Tonight my dad left my brother Jared a voicemail. He said not to get him anything for Father's Day, but rather just to make ourselves available in the coming weeks to do the things he won't be able to. My dad will go in for another transplant in the next couple of weeks. When I say he will go in for a transplant, I mean he will begin the process. It's not an overnight thing - last time he was in the hospital for a month, and recovered at home much longer than that. This time around the doctors have said they can do a lot of it outpatient, meaning he will be home more and in the hospital less. I can see pros and cons to that. I know it will be more comfortable for my dad to be at home. He hasn't slept in a bed in over 7 years - he sleeps on the recliner in the living room. It will be better because he won't catch all the bugs that float around in hospitals. But, I know it will be hard - really hard, especially for my mom. My mom is probably the strongest woman I know. She has been through more in her life than anyone should ever have to. And yet, when anyone needs her, she's there, and she's strong. I know she will be tough for my dad. I know she will do her best to take the best care of him. But I know it will tear her apart. How could it not? And the rest of us...well, we face the possibility that we could be saying good-bye sooner that we would like to. It's a possibility I have had to face for the past 7 years. And yet, no amount of time could prepare me. I already have a gift for my dad for Father's Day. It's more of a gift for me than it is for him. It's a journal - designed to help you remember things you probably wouldn't think to write down about growing up - family, school, dating, etc. It says it's a grandfather's journal. I would have liked a father's one, but they didn't have any. However, I find it very appropriate. I want my kids to know my dad. If they don't get to their Papa in this life, I want them to have something that was his, something he wrote in. Honestly, I want it...not just for my kids, but for me too.

So today I ask you - please pray for my family. Pray for my dad, that the treatments will go smoothly and that he will recover, if it is the Lord's will. Pray for my mom, that she will become the advocate my dad needs, that she will be strong and courageous. And pray for the rest of my family, that we will know what we need to do to help. This could be very successful - it could mean my dad will be around for 7 more years. That's what I will be praying for. And even though I'm worried and anxious and concerned...I will put on my brave face. I know the Lord is watching over us and I know He has a plan for us. It's my job to accept His plan and make the most of it. And that's exactly what I intend to do...with His help.

Warning - ranting to follow...

It has not been my favorite night. I left work and stopped at the grocery store to buy some food, something I've been in need of as of late. While I was in the line at the store my mom called. She was in tears. She said she had been sick all day and she needed help and she couldn't get a hold of my dad. There was nothing I could immediately...I was in Sandy, 40 minutes away. I called my brother, who was a lot closer than I was. He went over to make sure she was okay. As I got closer to Kaysville, my co-workers began to call.

We have high school kids that work for us. Apparently, the kids who were supposed to work tonight flaked. There wasn't much I could do. I did what I could, which was to call the coordinator who lives in Sandy. I'm sure she wasn't too thrilled, I wouldn't have been if it was me. She was kind enough to come to the rescue and make things work. But not without hardship. The problem was that there weren't any keys at a particular park so they couldn't get in to get the pitching machine out. My co-worker, who went to the park out of the goodness of her heart got an earfull from an angry parent. Honestly, is it THAT big of a deal?? Her kid was still playing. What difference does it make if the ball is being pitched by a machine or the coach? It is not the end of the world! Why can't she just understand that everyone can't be perfect all the time? Why does she have to be a witch about it?

I got to my house. My dad had come home and my mom was sick. She had been throwing up all night and all day, which triggered a migraine. She was not a happy camper. My parents were without Sprite, or crackers, or anything useful when you're puking your guts out. My mom asked me to go to the store for her. I did...but not before I got very frustrated with my father. He came home from work to find my mom so sick, and rather than offer to do something to help, he put his stuff down, made himself dinner, ate a bowl of ice cream, and left to go to the family history center. I think that's a good thing - I'm glad he volunteers there, but this is his wife!! She was sick and she needed some help! And he left her! I know my dad has his own struggles, but that doesn't mean that that gives him the right to be mean!! She's still his wife!

We had a lesson in church about gifts of the spirit. I know that something I have been blessed with is perspective. It's something I had to ask for and work really hard for, but I know that ultimately it was my Heavenly Father that blessed with me with the perspective I have. It concerns me when people make a big deal out of things that are not a big deal. It's not a big deal that an 8 year old has to hit a ball that wasn't pitched by a machine. It's not a big deal to skip one night of volunteering to be with your sick wife. So why is it human nature to make a big deal of it? Two weeks from now, that 8 year old will only remember that he got to play baseball. And I'm sure that the members of the stake would have understood if my dad chose to stay home rather go to the library. Our life is eternal and we need to make sure that we are acting accordingly. I know I do my best to do that, but I wish there was some way to make everyone else do that. I know that defeats the whole idea of agency, which is the plan I chose. Maybe that's the next thing I can work on - how to help others without trying to make them do or think something.

Safe and Loved

I stayed at work late today. There is a skate park in Sandy. It's always filled with hooligans. I know it's hypocritical to say to give people the benefit of the doubt one day and then call the skater kids hooligans the next day. But most of these kids really are hooligans - even after giving them the benefit of the doubt. Because they have control of the skate park all day every day, Sandy City thought that once every other Monday night during the summer months, they would have a family night at the skate park. at 6:00pm the cops come and clear out the entire park. The only way you can get back in is by coming with a parent. It gives the little kids an opportunity to play at this park without having to worry about the mean older kids. I think it's a wonderful opportunity. It makes me thankful that I live the life I do. I don't have to prove myself like some of those skater kids do. I grew up with parents who always knew where I was and who I was with. Some might see this a restrictive. I see it as genuine concern and love. I can walk around my neighborhood and know that I won't be harassed by confused teenagers, or anyone else for that matter. I live a very comfortable, safe life.

This was pointed out to me again later tonight. I left the family night at the skate park and got home just in time for my own family night. We got to make humanitarian kits for the church. Wendee had collected supplies to make these kits at the luncheon on Saturday. We made quite a few, but we ended up with a bunch of extra supplies. Wendee suggested that we try taking them to the womens' and children's center. It's located in Kaysville, maybe Layton. I had never been there. Wendee and I went in the door to see if they were interested in the supplies we had. We went through one set of doors and had to stop in a little entry way. There was another set of doors - locked. You had to ring a bell and speak through an intercom before they would let you in. I can't imagine the stories you would hear in that center. I can't imagine people being so badly treated that they only way they would feel safe was to be behind locked doors. They gladly accepted the things we had to give them. It felt good to be able to help other people. That's how I imagine Zion to be - we had extra and gave it to those who had little. It made me grateful again - I have a safe and loving home. It really is a little piece of heaven to me. I wonder how much it would change the world if everyone could live in a safe and loving environment like I do...and how much would it change the world if everyone was grateful for they had rather than always wanting for more.

Change.

There's a scripture that talks about how the Lord chastises His people in order to humble them and make them better. I feel like I have been chastised today. I have this terrible habit. I know it's terrible and yet, I continue to do it. This is the habit - I don't give people the benefit of the doubt. There are people I know from school - even elementary school, that I still consider to be the same person and have the same tendencies as they did a long time ago. Here's where this is coming from. There was a boy that lived across the street from me growing up. From the time I can remember I remember him being mean. I don't remember an instance when he was actually mean to me, but I just didn't like him. I saw him at the single's ward I've been going to and in my mind, he was still a mean teenager. He was with a girl (engaged) and I thought it was typical. She looked like just the right fit for someone like him. Today they spoke in church. It was their last Sunday in the ward. As I listened to them speak and felt the spirit they communicated with, I couldn't help but feel guilty. I had never really spoken to either of them and there was absolutely no reason for me to think they were mean or snobbish. Even though I didn't outwardly show how I felt about them, I still felt bad for thinking the way I did about them. I need to remember that everyone is human and I need to give everyone a chance, even if I have a bad first impression of them. And I need to remember that people change. I've changed a lot and I would want people to give me another chance after making those changes.

There was a mingle after church today. I realized the only reason I have no desire to stick around for the mingles is because they're always centered around food. I can't eat most of what they have. I feel deprived always missing out and I don't really like having to explain it to everyone all the time. I don't mind explaining it to someone who is truly interested, but I don't like having to explain it to justify why I choose not eat. It would be really easy for me to feel like a victim. BUT, having a positive perspective helps. And my family helps me have a positive perspective. My sister-in-law is mindful and she will modify dinner to make sure I have something eat with the family. And even my sister-in-law's parents have made a huge effort! We go over there for dinner every Sunday. Today we ate chicken cordon bleu...however you spell that. I figured I would be eating vegetables, which I would be fine with. But, then oma pulled out a chicken cordon bleu...gluten free, made just for me. How can you feel deprived when so many people are looking out for you?? That's why family is so great!! They stick with you, learn with you, and look out for you. What a protection.

VIP # 6

I set up this blog last night, made two post and I already have 2 comments from good friends of mine...that's fun!

Today was an adventure. I woke to Wendee calling me on the phone (we have a business phone system in our house and it can work pretty much like an intercom - it rocks!). Wendee told me that the baby was awake. I told her we still needed to go out running and she should wake Jared up to take the baby. Two minutes later she came down to get me to go out. We got out the door and she told me that she had put the baby in the play pen and turned on the Barbie Horse Adventure video and game and given him the controller... love it! She had also told my brother to listen for him...she's not a bad mom...promise! The run was terrible to say the least. Wendee runs faster than me, but today she ran a lot faster than me. While I was running I could really feel the effect of this sickness on my body. Granted, I probably shouldn't have been out running in the first place. I should give my body time to heal. But I am too determined. I had to stop a lot more than I usually do. I just plain couldn't breath. We stopped with one mile left to go and I almost puked. Wendee turned around and when I caught up with her she said, "You don't look good." But, I made it and now I will feel like I adequately prepared for the half marathon next week.

I got to go to a luncheon today. Anyone who is not a part of would never know that there's an association for the grand-daughters of Brigham Young. It's very exclusive. Every year around this time they have a luncheon. Only those who are direct descendant of Brigham are allowed to go. Wendee is a grand-daughter. She happened to be the president for this year so she got to invite a few people who would otherwise not be allowed, including me. It's a pretty big event. They have it at the Lion House. They do lunch and have a little presentation. During the presentation all the girls under 12 get to do a taffy pull. People look forward to this. While I watched Wendee prepare and while I was there, I got the distinct feeling the some of the people thought they were better than others because they descended from Brigham Young. It made me think a lot of things. First I thought - why do people think that they are so special compared to someone else? Why do they think they should be the exception to the rule? Then I thought - that's not fair. We're all children of God so we should all be on equal playing ground right? They're not any better than me because I'm not a descendant. In my mind I put moved them from a pedestal down to my level. Then I had another thought - that wasn't the right perspective. One of the apostles talked in conference last year about how we're all important in the sight of God. He loves me, Jetta Valentine, just as much as He loves President Monson. I shouldn't think of myself of less worth than anyone, even the prophet. Then the imagery in my mind changed. I saw myself up higher than ground level, even higher than the pedestal I imagined these descendants to be on, but the cool thing was, they came too! It was an interesting thought process...although I'm not sure my writing abilities did it justice. Bottom line is, I'm not any better or worse than anyone else in this world - not because of who my ancestors are, not because of where I live or what I do....nothing makes me more or less important. It's strange to me how that seems so...fair.

At the luncheon we parked in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. We walked to the building and I saw in the parking lot 9 stalls that were reserved. The sign said, "Reserved for VIP # __," with the ___s being a number between 1 and 9. I said to Wendee, "Hello, my name is Jetta Valentine....VIP #6." I don't know why but I thought was hilarious. It kind of fits the thought process I just explained. I thought it was so funny, but really, there's no reason I could be VIP #6, at least in Heavenly Father's sight.

I got to babysit the kids tonight. I spent a lot of time outside with them. It's amazing to me how kids can find joy in the littlest things. I don't know any adult that would be thrilled, laughing with joy to ride their bike around a cul-de-sac. But these kids were! For about an hour they rode around, chatted with each other and the neighbors and there was nothing but joy. I'll have to make an effort to be more like them in that aspect. I can find joy in the world like they can.

Procrastination

I feel like I'm cheating. I don't mean to boast, but I am a faithful journal writer - every night just before bed. I'm using this blog as the journal now...but I feel like it's wrong to be on the computer. What if the paper journal feels left out?

I am not typically one to procrastinate. However, today I feel like a procrastinator. It started this morning. I have been procrastinating running. I usually really love to run. I love achieving goals and honestly, I'm addicted to the "runners' high." I promised my old roommate and good friend Riana that I would run the Teton Dam Half Marathon with her. In all actuality, I thought the idea would fizzle. But, Riana called last week and I signed up for the race and am now sort of scrambling to get ready. I figured I would run 11 miles this weekend and be able to do the half just fine. I had arranged with my sister-in-law Wendee to run a short run today. It didn't work out. The baby Jacob woke up way earlier than he usually does. So rather than go out by myself, I procrastinated. I decided it would be a good idea to split the 11 miles up. If you run twice in 24 hours, you can still count it as a long run. I decided (while my head was still on the pillow) that I would run 6 miles after work today and then do 5 tomorrow morning. It worked all right. I got the 6 in tonight and I have full intentions of running 5 in the morning. I hope Riana knows this is all for her!! I'm excited to do the race and go back to Rexburg for a few days. Although I'm not entirely sure it's a smart thing for me to be running right now. I've been sick for the past 2 weeks. I finally went to the doctor (which is not my favorite thing). He said I have a sinus infection and the makings of pneumonia. Hopefully the good old antibiotics will kick it before it gets that far. The things you do for friends.

I am up late (too late for me) because I have also procrastinated doing my laundry for entirely too long. Let's just say there's no possible way I would make it one more day without doing it. If there was, I would be in dreamland now instead of waiting for the dryer...

I have decided to enter the wide world of blogging. It's taken me a while, but I am finally taking the counsel of Elder M. Russel Ballard when he told an audience at BYU-Idaho that creating a blog is an excellent way to share to gospel. I figured I could follow the counsel of Elder Henry B. Eyring at the same time. This blog will contain the blessings I see in my life every day. Maybe someday someone will gain something from it....if not, I'm sure it will be good for me.